take me and lead me

moved!

2009-09-09T20:54:00.000+08:00

http://vanessa1987.livejournal.com

my mum :)

2009-08-25T23:31:00.002+08:00

without you in my life, i've no idea how i gonna turn out. thank you for being so strong and unshaken these years, despite e endless shit the 3 of us throws you in life you never once gave up on us! no matter how bad e situation was or how much you wana throw in the towel and call it quits, you hanged on for us.

your unconditional love brings tears to my eyes, for the endless sacrifices and a heart so filled with love for all of you.. thank you! ure e best i could ever have and everything i could ever ask for.. all i ask is e smile to remain on your face and to be healthy and live a long life with us :)

i love you mummy, happy birthday :)

family love :)

2009-08-25T00:09:00.003+08:00

this week went by so quickly, i've no recollections of what went on.. going for class & work, had lunch with jie & tiff at ma maison followed by a movie.. peixuan's 21st and this really nice dessert place tiff & i went to that day- 1 caramel :)

foresee a hectic week ahead of submissions and test coming up! :(

i really love my family.. every single one of them! thank God for an unshaken mum :)

august & all e birthday celebrations :)

2009-08-17T00:51:00.004+08:00

august is such a busy month, with so many birthday celebrations :)

celebrated miss tan's and nel's birthday on sat and everything went really well, i'll let e pictures do e talking :)

for all e time & love you invested on us all these years, thank you! you taught me such a great deal in life and seeing you smile happily just warms my heart. if anyone deserves e best, it's you! may all good things happen to you :)

the surprise worked & seeing all our smiles is just amazing:) we came such a long way tgt and i'm certain there'll be many more years to come!

have a great week ahead, no monday blues for you! :)

goodbye!

2009-08-13T02:18:00.002+08:00

the sms shocked me and a wave of emptiness filled my heart followed by an indescribable sadness.. what's going to happen to them now that you chose to move on and leave? however if there's a better place out there for you and it's a decision you feel happy with then follow your heart. you of all people deserve to have e best! thank you for e many fantastic memories and all e hard work you put in these years, i can't ask for anyone better than you and may all good things find its way to you from now on :)

love my blackberry bold

2009-08-03T22:05:00.005+08:00

it's really pretty and i loveeeeee it so much :):):) can't take my hands off it now..

tiff made a comment that day on how someone so technologically-challenged like me wana get a phone that's so high-technology! hahaha... beats me too but i'm loving it :)

city harvest's 20th anniversary was so heart-warming and i'm bursting with pride for my church & all e pastors :) i was smiling & tearing throughout e entire service despite it stretching for 6++ hours with thanksgiving and celebration service combined.. e lack of sleep & queueing was worth e effort. i'm so blessed being a part of this great church :)

anyway it's my dad's birthday tmr and we're still racking our brains on what present to get him.. better think of something good tonight! heh..

have a great week ahead:)

human nature

2009-07-30T00:40:00.002+08:00

sometimes i just wonder e nature of a human being.. are we all selfish by nature or it's an err of judgment that causes e hurt & pain?

did we set out to hurt on purpose or it's just a self-defense mechanism? you know how e saying goes that onlookers have better opinions on a situation than e people involved in e situation.. honestly i can't agree more cos onlookers are more impartial & not blinded by e emotions involved. of course no judgment is being passed, just matter of opinions being discussed & wishing for a solution that solves e root of e problem or at least minimize e hurt.

i'm tired of all e drama that has been going on honestly and i just wana step out of it and steer clear of it all.. dun get me wrong, it's not that i no longer care it's just that caring too much really is draining & hurting. if i can't change e way a person think/feel/act then maybe it's time to change my perception of things..

i'm so thankful of e group of friends i have, my constant support & people who shares e same principles/morals/values :) people who keeps me anchored & sane when everyone/everything else is in chaos..

thank God :)

photos galore!

2009-07-29T00:38:00.003+08:00

a night i could barely remember.. night filled with so much laughter and booze that could drown a house. not to mention how embarrassed most of us were, how i made a fool out of myself but from e smiles on our faces it was a break much needed and had so much fun! :)

happy birthday xiaoping! your good days are just about to start.. bask in it! :)

back to school!

2009-07-21T00:30:00.003+08:00

school has officially started and i'm still trying hard to swing back into momentum! afternoon classes are total drags, e whole day is wasted just going to school for 3 hours cos of e timing :( business finance is a total mystery as of now, half e time i'm drifting off, oh nooooooooo! i gonna start concentrating :(:(

work has took on a good turn, seriously! saw e number of cheques they received before e actual launch & it's so encouraging! :):) i'm sure e response will be overwhelming, even my aunt who i saw and called on e list by chance is keen to go take a look.. wheeeee! i can't wait for our pay+commission to come in :):)

gonna get some rest now! friday gonna be soooo exciting, can't wait to have some fun with e girls and chase e blues of going back to school away! have a good week :)

raw emotions

2009-07-17T01:26:00.003+08:00

i came across a friend's blog and got very inspired by his take on relationships, dealing with love and lost love. you know love is a huge word despite being just another 4-letters word in e dictionary and e magnitude of it is mind-blowing.. in my life i've seen countless of relationships, those that works out and those that don't and i always seem to learn a little something out of every relationship i've come across in my life

love as pictured in e bible is patient & kind. love does not envy nor does it boast and it is not proud. love not rude & not self-seeking and not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. i can't agree more with this, yet this isn't e end of its meaning.. love shouldn't condone lies, it doesn't mean one can't make mistakes it means standing up to take responsibility for e mistake and learn from there. it will weather storms & become stronger when trials take place but it should never be an avenue to lie to smooth things out. love is taking time to notice e small details/habits of e other, a simple gesture goes a long way.. going e extra mile for that someone without calculating what's in return for an act, being able to share happiness & sadness together without e fear of being judged for your actions. love is knowing i can trust whole-heartedly & looking into your partner's eyes takes your breath away, e center of your universe and e one who puts a smile on your face despite a bad day.

because of our imperfection, everyday of our lives we're working towards a better us where we learn from past mistakes and do what had been done well. at e risk of sounding naive, i believe that everyone has a soulmate in their life & it takes time to find that particular someone.. some are luckier they find it earlier in their life while some never give up searching even when they're greying at e temples. is there a definition of the 'right one'? i guess it's up to e individual. for me, there's no 'right girl/guy' there's just someone who loves you as you love he/she back and make up for each other's weaknesses yet at e same time bring out e best in each other.

along e way there will definitely be humps & curbs that hinders and slow you down but from young most of us would have been taught to stand up from where you've fallen, if love let you down pick up from where you fell and move on cos life is too short to be mulling over someone who doesn't reciprocate or in plain terms not worth e efforts. breakups are never easy as i so often emphasized believe me i know that but breakups happen for a reason and irreconcilable differences will remain irreconcilable unless both parties are willing to give it another shot. i am a firm believer of not going back to a failed relationship because e breakup happened for a reason and unless both parties are honest with each other, willing to make more than just an effort to right e wrongs i dun see a purpose in getting back together only to split up for e same reason few months down e road. i'd prefer to think that's being practical instead of harsh and my friends so often points out to me.. however love takes time to nurture and flourish and that being said it requires effort & hard work, no strong relationships come by without trials and endless hard work..

never a person who could pen my thoughts down accurately (e reason why i chose to major in marketing and not english/literature) i hope e above wouldn't offend anyone cos there's no pin-pointing of anyone in particular and these are just thoughts of mine which may or may not be provoked by parties in my life so excuse my rather private thoughts and raw emotions. :)

blackberry vs nokia

2009-07-08T00:53:00.002+08:00

my phone died on me, without warning or signal :(

i cant decide on which phone to buy, love a blackberry but e cost is chokingly disgusting :( oh man, i cant make up my mind. which one should i buy??????

today was a good day at work, so happy! :)

i'm getting out of this stupid senseless game!

wimbledon :)

2009-07-04T12:44:00.002+08:00

i've always been a huge fan of tennis, something i dun broadcast cos it's weird how someone who doesn't play e sport actually love watching it so much.. anyhow this year's wimbledon was all e more exciting cos tiff joined me in e whole woohoo-sighing-pumping fists in e air with a shout of yes drama! :)

we fallen in love with britain's home boy and no.1 ranking british player (world ranking 3rd) - andy murray :)

his playing is an inspiration not to mention his good looks/awesome body and to top it off e scale he's only 22years of age.. what am i doing here at 22 when he's out there winning e millions and playing e game of his life? quoting vivien: 'different environment, no point beating ourselves up over this.'

anyway he lost his semi-finals last night and it not only crushed e hopes of e entire nation of britain but also e hopes of tiff and i :( we were so involved in e game till we were devastated after e loss at 2am, both of us couldn't sleep cos though both players really deserved to get thru to e finals we were rooting for murray!

drama aside, i was reading thru e article of his interview over the loss and got very encouraged by his attitude.. instead of lamenting on e 'what ifs' and if he could have done better, his confidence & poise in dealing with e media taught me a great deal abt life and how ur attitude brings you a long way in life. choosing to beat yourself over it or standing up where you fall is your own choice.

i can't wait to see him shine in e near future!

the meet-up with e girls was awesome, haven't laughed so much in ages & the stories i heard that day topped e scales of all-time shocking news..completely off-the-radar stories. i'm so glad i've normal, healthy and loving friends :) can't wait for more of such sessions, yay!

may, i can't wait to see you tooooooo! gonna text you soon ok? love love :)

enjoy your weekend :)

sometimes flattery don't get you anywhere

2009-06-29T02:26:00.003+08:00

it's 2.30am and i'm still awake..e nocturnal hours recently is seriously bad for my health & complexion i can see pimples popping out :( gonna switch e sleeping hours back to normal soon.

i missed days when i could just stay home and do nothing, be a couch potato all day long and bask in e presence of my parents... getting carried away with my own life & busy with so many things often leave me taking things for granted and forgetting certain things.. im glad i've a healthy family, wonderful parents & awesome sisters :)

cant wait for wed to meet up with e girls, really miss e endless chatter & laughter :) been too long since we last met up!

gonna get some sleep now, waking up to make breakfast for tiff later..

enjoy your week everyone! :)

*as you grow older, you learn that guys with a sweet mouth should best be avoided and take their words with a grain of salt.. flattery isn't working on me anymore

choir juniors!

2009-06-25T00:58:00.002+08:00

our age gap is seriously depressing but being with them always make me laugh! their innocence & optimism amazes me and i'm so proud of them..from then till now, i stand in awe & pride! :)

very much loved

2009-06-19T01:19:00.002+08:00

to all those who checked up on me after reading my previous entry - thank you! i'm a lot more than fine now & honestly thank you for taking time to call/msg me to see if i'm ok :)

i had a great session tonight at riverwalk, e word awesome took on a whole new level & i feel really recharged.

enjoy your weekends everyone :)

never be bitter, just get better!

thankyou daddy :)

2009-06-16T00:02:00.003+08:00

thankyou for supporting me & not putting me down..for understanding and being so nice about everything, i hate to go through this shit & put you through it with me, im trusting God for this path that's happening.

thanks daddy, for loving me so whole-heartedly & assuring me you've got everything in control..though you wont read this but i love you dad, i really do & i appreciate all e sacrifices you always make for e family and especially for me.

girls, thanks for hearing me out and being there for me..cant thank all of you enough and i really appreciate all of you :)

im terrified but i'll be strong!

mid-june crisis

2009-06-15T00:42:00.003+08:00

i'm getting restless from work..last couple of weeks flew by, literally.

9th july - piano

honestly dun think i gonna make it :(

actually i've nothing much to say, till e next time..take care! :)

may was a whirlwind..hello june! :)

2009-06-01T23:35:00.005+08:00

hello june! :)

may have been a really busy month, with endless birthday one after e another..my pocket is burnt!! :( gonna do some recovery now.

first day at work was ok, noel & ethan have been really cool guys and telemarketing really is just all about calling and calling and more calling. some responses are hilarious while others bordered on being rude. e guys shed some new light on life & work, really good to know new people & learn from them.

keeping my fingers crossed for good results thus leading to good money :)

to end off, here are some pics of szemin's 21st :) e room at St.Regis is beautiful and e company was awesome, taboo took on a whole new level of crude & fun :)

7 in e morning

2009-05-28T07:55:00.002+08:00

tiff's shuffling about in e room woke me up bright & early at 6am in e morning, tossed & turned for an hour and decided to get out of bed instead of pretending i could get back to sleep..i feel e beginning of a pounding headache :(

im starving!

baba was telling me e benefits of using gmail and how i could link all my hotmail accounts into gmail and oooooh lala im now an official gmail user :) hotmail has been giving so many problems recently, decided e switch is a good one. thanks for your step-by-step coaching baba, you rock! :)

so many thoughts going on in my puny brain, wonder if it'll explode soon..

i wana catch kris allen on EllenGeneres's show, gonna try youtube soon and see if it's up..

holidays arent that long now that i come to think of it..5 more weeks and im back in school for e last sem (hopefully) doing e same old routine again, only this time round e timetable is whacked :( oh wait, e previous 2 sems were whacked too..oh well suck thumb!

did i mention, our coursework grades are out and it's awesome! :) unbelievably good grades..heh! crossing my fingers that i'll breeze thru this sem when exam grades are out next week..

ok, done ranting..later!

kris allen - no boundaries

2009-05-25T01:14:00.004+08:00

Seconds hours so many days

You know what you want but how long can you wait

Every moment lasts forever

Then you feel you've lost your way

What if my chances were already gone

I started believing that I could be wrong

But you give me one good reason

To fight and never walk away

So here I am still holding on

With very step you climb another mountain

Every breath it's harder to believe

You make it through the pain

Weather the hurricanes

To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is goin' nowhere

Just when you almost gave up on your dreams

They take you by the hand

And show you that you can

There are no boundaries

I fall to the land there to stand on the edge

What if today was as good as it gets

I don't know where the future's headin'

But nothing's gonna bring me down

I've jumped every bridge and I've run every light

I've risked bein' safe and I always knew why

I always knew why

So here I am still holdin' on

With every step you climb another mountain

Every breath it's harder to believe

You make it through the pain

Weather the hurricanes

To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is goin' nowhere

Just when you almost gave up on your dreams

They take you by the hand

And show you that you can

You can go higher

You can go deeper

There are no boundaries

Above and beneath you

Break every rule 'cause

There's nothing between you and your dreams

With every step you climb another mountain

Every breath it's harder to believe

Yeah

There are no boundaries

With every step you climb another mountain

Every breath it's harder to believe

You make it through the pain

Weather the hurricanes

There are no boundaries

in love with this song :)

may's 22nd :)

2009-05-22T11:53:00.002+08:00

happy 22nd dear :) i love e whole night, you beaming with laughter & all e catching up with e rest who i haven't seen for ages..how time flies! everything will be turning out well from now on, more bumps along e way definitely but nothing that will put you down for long. that rainbow you've been longing for is taking its shape in your life..thankyou for making me laugh & be that faithful and rational listener to my problems, never judging but always patient to hear me out and tell me e best solution. have faith babe, learn e art of optimism & know that i love you :)

happy blessed 22nd ;)

american idol 8

2009-05-21T10:22:00.003+08:00

woohooooo...kris allen won!!! i woke up at 8 to catch e live telecast and he really deserve to win :) if you haven't already heard him, you must cos he's totally awesome!

just a short entry to share my euphoria..gtg catch some sleep before heading out later. pray for me will you? e flu & cough is driving me crazy :(

enjoy your weekend :)

flu bug :(

2009-05-19T20:56:00.003+08:00

in the span of 1 day, im plagued by the flu bug & my throat is hurting terribly :( oh boy, screwed up my plans for e day!

im so sorry dear, i was so looking forward to dinner with you today and celebrating ur birthday in advance! promise to make it up to you next week :) in e meantime, rein in your thoughts and stop allowing them to run wild.

i dun wana be cooped up at home, ruining all e plans i made for e week! argh!!!

anyway, here are some overdue photos of my vietnam trip and jie's wedding earlier on in the year :)

visited e zoo, all e various museums and trying their local food..e pho is really nice! :) we had it for 3 days in a row & still craving it now!

we chanced upon 'fountain cafe' while walking around cos e museum was closed for lunch break and we fell in love at first sight! the whole place is beautiful, staffs are so friendly & excellent service, e decor was simple yet classy and the live band was to die for! i fell in love with e blonde guy with an awesome voice (bearing an uncanny resemblance to choc.) i miss that place already and the guy whose voice is really mesmerizing!

waiting to board the flight home!

jie's wedding in january! everyone just couldn't stop smiling :)

yay! my favourite cousins :)

this boy is so adorable & smart! in short, lets just call him my cousin cos e family tree is too big,hence im not sure of the exact title given. anyway wherever he goes laughter follows and he's so witty..i adore him :)

e beautiful bride :)

there you go, e happy couple! :)

love shouldn't tear you up

2009-05-16T12:43:00.004+08:00

hellllooooooo..im home! :) vietnam was good, never been to so many different museums in my life and embracing e motorcycle culture..cool stuff! :) will load pictures up once i've e time, too many to screen through for now.

we went to this cafe(coffee world/cream & fudge) that has a live band and e singer was superb! im not even exaggerating cos tiff & vivien agreed too..i wished i could go back and see e blonde-guy-with-a-high-ponytail and drown in his voice..i enjoyed it so much and couldn't take my eyes off him, he really is one talented singer!

thank God jed was teaching us how to cross e roads in ho chi ming, if not we wouldnt have so much fun cos half e excitement came from walking across a street with 500 motorcycles on your left and another 500 on your right and everyone horning away..heh!

gonna get ready for church soon, but e weather is tempting me to sleep in :( slept so much since i came back, those really deep sleep that makes one wake up feeling groggy

enjoy your weekend dear friends esp HAM&NIC! i hope sentosa will be fun and cant wait to meet you girls on monday :)

*love shouldn't tear you up inside, even at moments of disagreements..love should make you grow stronger & wiser coming tgt to make each other shine more, if e love eats you up & brings you down then it probably never was love to begin with.

vietnam :)

2009-05-13T05:05:00.003+08:00

buzzing sound of e hair dryer where tiff is blow drying her hair,waiting for her to be done and vivien to come pick us up. cant believe i gonna be on e plane in less than 3 hrs..im so happy :)

i know with e swine flu, it's really dangerous to step out of e sunny island but nothing can dampen my happy spirits. i gonna go there safe & healthy, come back safe & healthy..amen! :)

things are just getting better, i know this is e way i wana live life & surprises can really be sweet..take care all of you, be back on friday :)

hello holidays! :)

2009-05-06T01:14:00.006+08:00

e last paper was a complete disaster :( e odds of flunking it is terribly high and there's nothing i can do about it! oh well, what's over is over and im really praying for e best..let the lecturers have mercy on our papers!

on a lighter note, it's all OVER! heh, really happy! been pining and praying for this day to come and it's such a great sensation knowing i'm now free to do whatever i like at any given time of e day/night! gonna take a well-deserved break to recharge and spend good quality time with all my love ones :)

first up, met szemin today! never fail to make me laugh & all her weird expressions plus all the pathetic attempts at 'good shots'. hahaha..people at starbucks probably think we're lunatics cos we were snapping at everything within sight, heh!

it's shopping with my sisters tmr, wheeee! cant wait to see jiejie and give her a huge hug :)

swine flu :(

2009-05-03T02:13:00.003+08:00

this whole saga of swine flu is driving me crazy :( it's forcing me to cancel my vietnam trip that i was really looking forward to :( i need this holiday so badly and now im contemplating to just go ahead with e trip & deal with e consequences later..oh man, what should i do? argh!! :(

im suffering from really bad insomnia these few days, im so physically tired but my brain refuse to sleep..been sleeping at 3-4am for consecutive nights and it's really bad for my health & complexion, my outbreaks are about to mark its place permanently! i keep having flashbacks abt e most insignificant things that i gone thru in e day and i cant sleep well, when i wake up in e morning i feel like i havent rested at all :(

i was telling tiff and e grp, it's e periodic insomnia season again! hope it'll pass soon :(

anyway to end on a happy note, Pastor Stephan Munsey was so awesome :) he totally deserve e title Pastor Phil given him being e most inspirational speaker in the entire United States. e way he portrayed the word thru humor and stories stirred so many hearts and im glad we had him for service today! cant wait for him to be back again & teach us more :)

gonna start studying for e last paper on tuesday, enough procrastination done over e long weekends! after 5th may, i gonna be a happy girl :)

for you!

2009-05-01T02:06:00.001+08:00

maybelline tan, this's for you! i dun rmb e email u check frequently and i know you'll read my blog so there you go..

drop me a msg once you see this :)

this just puts a smile on my face :)

2009-04-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

heh, this's awesome :)

e rain after soooo long :)

2009-04-26T19:29:00.002+08:00

im glad e rain finally came today, if not my brain really gonna get fried :( it's been so freaking hot, it's terrible! im so tired from studying, e endless piles of notes and endless readings :( i really need a break!

it was a coincidence at carls' last night, a huge scene with their private joke and it's hilarious how half e place was taken by christians :)
we talked for a bit just now & asking e inevitable naturally led to some unhappiness, i guess it just gonna be like that for e time being..im getting weary of it all and god knows my attention span is shorter than a 5-year old :( i know im talking in circles, if you dun get me den probably it means you will never get it so just ignore this chunk of gibberish..

booked e tickets last night, taking a short trip to ho chi minh on e 13th :) cant wait to take a break from all these!

happy 21st jean! :)

2009-04-24T14:41:00.006+08:00

happy 21st dear girl, i bet you cant wait for ur taiwan trip :) i hope this year will bring you many wonderful moments and all things to go your way..days to be filled with laughter and your 'mr ideal' appears soon and get over ur fantasy with luo zhixiang..

my awesome little juniors :)

2009-04-21T14:07:00.003+08:00

if dreams really could come true, yest came in e closest :) they gotten that silver they didnt get 2 years back..and he fulfilled his word of hanging on with them despite all e shit e school puts him through and all e times he wana give up cos it's like fighting a losing battle. im so proud of the little kids and of him, i embarrassed myself completely by tearing after they finished e pieces..im officially e most idiotic one of them all..

tiff and mummy will be back tmr, cant wait! :)

thankyou God, thankyou for everything big & small you've done in my life..

rujiao's 21st :)

2009-04-17T12:59:00.006+08:00

been deprived of e internet these days due to the wireless failing me once again :( parking myself at t3's coffee club, studying & catching up on gossips on FB..e staffs here have all kindly let me be & are all super friendly..

had a really busy weekend with easter and rujiao's 21st :)
seeing you all smiles & so happy in love now makes me smile girl, i pray & i know this's going to be e start of everything good and happy..this year will be the best year yet, i hope you like e present lovely :) love love..

we celebrated jean's bday yest! way earlier of the actual day because of exams next week, nevertheless it was fun! e oh-so-random table of giggling young girls striking conversations with us, e really nice food & endless cam-whoring..antidote to stress! :) will load e photos once ham & hopefully jean loads them up..

some really random pics shan loaded recently..

bunch of people i've come to cherish & love so much..if ever i go to heaven, i still wana have late-night-airport-sessions tgt with all of them :)

this's so beautiful :)

2009-04-09T00:35:00.002+08:00

:) courtesy of hubert's twitter!

byebye projects :)

2009-04-08T22:15:00.003+08:00

finally done with all e submissions! :) been a horrible couple of weeks, e lack of sleep and all e breakouts on my face not to forget my infamous eye bags + dark eye rings! oh gosh, no amount of makeup can cover it up :(

thank God for e facial today, perk my dull looking face up...oh and i had such a blasting headache after e massage, i felt like my head was gonna explode. probably e time of e month coupled up with e massage..it was really bad!

it's good friday weekend this week..wheeee! :) gonna be a long week, gonna attend & serve multiple services but i promised myself im not gonna whine abt it..serving God is my honor so even if it takes up my time and sleep i gonna do it.

plus it's rujiao 21st on friday too, gonna rush down after service! hope i wont be too late or else everyone would be leaving when i arrive..so rj you better lock all e doors & only open it when im there :)

ok i know this's totally random but tampines 1 is opening tmr, i really cant wait! :) all e new shops and it's so pretty & classy looking..i really dun have to step out of tampines for shopping in future, how cool is that?!!

gonna try and hit e books now..keyword there is try..dreading e exams :(

till e next time, enjoy your nice long weekend :)

my privilege

2009-03-29T23:39:00.003+08:00

thankyou shan, i know it's not a duty/title..its really my privilege :)

march is coming to an end so soon..i cant wait for april to come & end as quickly, to be done with exams and enjoy my holidays! cant wait for e trip with tiff & really take a good break :)

this week gonna be terrible, i really pray for strength!

'stole' this from gin's blog :)

e most adorable :)

2009-03-28T23:34:00.003+08:00

one submission down! desperate need of sleep :( those pimple outbreaks, awful black eye rings & the really ugly eye bags :( it was a total mad rush this week, i foresee e week to come to be much much worst with another 3 more to go :(

thank God for valentino-aka-yizhen-aka-vivien :) really my God-send, i very shamelessly asked for help and brought her into my shit again :( late nights with me & no protest from her at all, im her worst nightmare honestly.. i cant thank you enough vien, before your head swells..battle on monday! go catch up on ur sleep now :)

i had such a good time catching up with may & ginli, really needed that break to let them bring me back to sanity! we took so many crazy pictures as usual :)

i want more of such nights, having nice dinners and spending quality time with all my loved ones..talking till e sun rises and having no worries at all, a girl sure can dream!

anyway, here's minnie:) wheeeeeee! ain't she really really really adorable?

lets dance shall we?

2009-03-24T00:58:00.002+08:00

i wish e sky will open up and pour some rain down, take away e humid weather that makes me sick & sleepy. let e rain fall, step in dance & sing along to e tune of e dripping water :) ignore e glares of passers-by & dance away, soaking in the pleasure of it all. let e days be more carefree & time to slow down its pace to let us catch up and breathe e flowers along e pavements..e wind on my face & smile all e way from my heart.

you rock Z, you always make me smile my friend. you & ur wiseass cynical remarks..i cant wait to see you married & have kids, gonna be a less than pretty sight!

peace that surrounds

2009-03-19T01:36:00.003+08:00

recovering from e horrendous flu & fever lifted my spirits :) feeling lethargic, sleepy & restless wasnt nice..felt like my body belonged to someone else :(

dragging my lazy ass back to school today, realised how far behind we're in projects & how next week gonna be a long & tiresome dampened some of that happy feelings..e only thought that cheers me up is it's gonna come to an end really soon

i shouldnt be whining so much i know, life isnt that bad afterall is it?!

anyhow, im enjoying e time i've now..reading & having time for myself cos all these gonna come to an end in a couple of days..pray for me, i need all e strength in e world.

one fact remains - ure not out of my mind & i miss you..

a good laugh :)

2009-03-11T23:57:00.002+08:00

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed

Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader, a real confident type.

She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.

She likes a COOL guy who sometimes act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.

Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love".

She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow. She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you.

She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she is sad , be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that.

You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave. he has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do.

If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK.

If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay Back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

got this from szemin :)

anyway to end off, here's a video that will make you laugh cos i did - laughed really hard that is..enjoy! :)

e perfect cut 2

2009-03-10T23:16:00.002+08:00

never thought i'd be hooked on this show..not just e storyline that rocks but e cast, art directions & e way it's portrayed is really good :)

new direction that surfaced, faced with choices & standing at crossroads again..what to choose amongst all these options?! oh well, let me go ponder and sleep on it..quoting my mum: 'you change your options every 3 days anyway, take time to think.' words of e wise indeed.

oh well oh well oh well..life will worry for itself :)

march & all its upcoming stress

2009-03-03T22:54:00.002+08:00

i've a bad feeling abt march :(

countless due dates & i foresee intense pressure in e upcoming 3-4 weeks, what's worst is we've barely even started on anything at all :(

have been idling away for so long, lectures are a total bore & fruitless proj meetings..we're doomed with a capital D! but it's just so easy to push things back and not get started, no motivation at all..i know i've said it countless times & it's staring at me in e face already but still zilch motivation..

i'll make an effort this week, i'll try to! :)

i've been wanting to share with all of you e 'relationship series sermon' i've been so tremendously blessed for e past month on man's&woman's basic needs by pastor kong but im just too lazy to type everything out..i'll find time to do it soon cos it's so relevant and makes so much sense you'll come to know e needs of your partner more :) it's really really really awesome :):)

i've been hearing so many positive feedbacks about this series & many have been blessed and getting to know their partners better :)

i gonna sleep soon, have to be up at 7 for morning lecture & projs to work on tmr.. have a great week ahead and God bless :)

he's just not that into you!

2009-02-21T01:30:00.003+08:00

this show is really good:) not only is e cast an incredible mix, e plot is :) & it points out stuffs that happen in everyday lives of ours that make so much sense!
i could chat all day long with her and im happy for her in so many ways, really! you deserve to be happy and i pray you go on being happy forever :)

have a awesome weekend! :)

friday e 13th :)

2009-02-14T03:41:00.002+08:00

a meetup that turned out to be so good, ure truly e best thing that could happen on friday e 13th:)
time & time again i just get awed by how similar we are & how we can complete each other's sentences and thoughts..we just keep learning new stuffs abt each other fellow AB+s - e unique & selfish :)
i needed ur company as much as you did mine and i really cant think of a better way to spend e day..if time permitted we could have gone on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever..well you get my drift dun you?! :)
thankyou for being yourself too sweets, i dun need you to please me in any ways cos i love u for who you are, you know i dun need you to put on an 'entertaining mask' when we're tgt..even at moments when ure so loud & noisy, even at moments when you love so fiercely and even at moments when you feel insecure abt yourself, i love you for who you are all e same! ure nowhere close to horrible so dun allow mean people to put you down..constructive criticisms are good but leave those hurtful remarks behind & not dwell over it anymore
i love you in e way i'd love a guy, at e risk of sounding like a lesbian..i love you girlfriend, a way that no one can replace & i dun think i can find another who shares so many similarities, complete my thoughts & always so supportive of me..rmb it isnt quantity time but quality time :)
i meant it when i said i thank God for giving me friends who're so real, friends like you who truly make me secure & happy..girls i know i can count on and have my back, it's friends like you girls that made me love myself a whole lot more now.
be strong & hang on, you can do so many wonders if you believe in yourself e way i believe in you..do me a favour will you pretty?! love yourself more & stay who you are, ure such a gem :) happy v-day!

i absolutely cant wait :)

2009-02-13T00:25:00.002+08:00

cant wait for tmr where i'll meet my fellow AB+ girl..no lack of laughter & definitely endless conversations:)

cant wait for service cos i've been excited e whole week abt e sermon pastor is gonna continue from since last week:)

cant wait for taboo and benjamin button after service with e cell grp:)

i cant wait for e weekend to start & all e fun-filled activities :)

at your request, miss aladdin :)

2009-02-11T23:53:00.003+08:00

polaroids are really fun and darling ure most definitely my best karma part 4!:)
it's been toooo long a week and it's only wed, i gonna snap out of this dreading school haze cos it's not helping..i go into every lecture wondering if i can skip it & leave during e break, this's terrible :(

prayer meeting on tues morning was good despite waking up at 5 & had a swelling red eye staring me back in e mirror..i saw things from different perspective & now im beginning to comprehend why things are happening in certain ways.

yay, it's thursday already..i cant wait for e weekends! :):) have a great vday all of you :)

your events :(

2009-02-04T00:46:00.005+08:00

you really scared me bad when you told me that..my heart literally jumped out, i was worried & scared more than angry. i just thank God you came out unscathed cos i dun think i'll be able to calm down shld anything happened differently:(:(

beginning & end

2009-02-02T02:44:00.002+08:00

who's to define beginning & end?
who's to lament on simplicity & complication?
who's to judge on another based on what's perceived on e outlook?
who's to decide fair & unfair?
life is encompassed with events that will bore you, take ur breath away, excite you, look forward to, live with regrets, standing up after a fall and emotions bordering on high & low..it's all a cycle that ends e line where it started
death seems like a simple word made up of 5 alphabets but e aftermath of it lingers, who's to decide strong & weak?
you live life, you learn to love and eventually you gonna die..
though this came a month late but my new year resolution gonna be to love bravely & freely, loving without hesitation & fear..to not let a day go by with regrets

best karma part 3 :)

2009-02-01T23:35:00.003+08:00

ginli dearest..ur awaited post! :) thankyou for blowing me away, hahaha!

thankyou all of you for taking time to plan for my birthday from e venue to e very well-thought-of gifts, i really really appreciate all of you:)

e month of january passed by so quickly i dun even know where all e time went to..oh well, i guess its back to school & getting swamped by projects and lectures all over again :(

i hope february gonna be as exciting as january!:)

best karma part 2! :)

2009-01-27T00:47:00.004+08:00

thankyou for e effort put in to meet up despite being reunion day:) despite being lame all e time, laughter never cease when im with you guys, thankyou!

my best karma :)

2009-01-24T02:10:00.006+08:00

thankyou for taking e effort to plan such a surprise for me, from e presents to e venue of our dinner wasnt leaked out despite my relentless probing and i love e place & e gorgeous presents! :):)

i cant ask for better girlfriends..irreplacaeble & e best i can ever ask for :)

* rest of e pictures are loaded onto facebook, if you girls want e complete 200++ photos..go to either ham/me when we're online :) cant believe we took 200 over photos, crazy crazy!

great service :)

2009-01-18T02:56:00.002+08:00

today's sermon really came in season & it's like an arrow that came shooting at me at this time when i needed it most! im reminded of things that i've neglected for a while now..

humans are really just weird creatures..e thoughts that goes in our heads amazes and often catch others off-guard. it's so hard to fathom what is truly going on inside, dun get me wrong im not talking abt a certain someone in my life..it's a general remark im sure all of you can identify with!

i've been hearing so much relationship issues recently, i feel like i could drown in them..scary to see how every couple struggles with their different issues in e relationship :(

on a lighter note, i cant wait for e week to be over..class on tues-thurs and a short break till it starts all over again in feb! as of friday it's gonna be loads of fun! my birthday celebrations to cny to e break we can take..yay! i really cant wait:):)

thankyou:)

2009-01-17T14:34:00.002+08:00

may, thankyou! for talking to me, giving me ur perspective & weighing my options tgt with me..i dunoe if it's going to work out or not but i gonna take a step of faith & see how things goes. i may be hurt but like what you said, i've gone thru shit in e past and it didnt cripple me so should i be hurt this time round i'd recover too..

love you my dear..hug hug:)

im an idiot :(

2009-01-15T23:26:00.002+08:00

im such an idiot! now we're going round&round&round..playing this dumbass game of words! this rollercoaster ride is starting to get a tad annoying..youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!:( :)

i really love talking to zhong cos he makes me laugh & hearing his nonsense crap takes all e bad energy away:)

anyhow im meeting may tmr evening..wheeeeee! :):):) i love her company & i cant wait to bask in her presence..it seems like forever since e last time i saw you gorgeous!

will you or wont you?

really exhausting:(

2009-01-12T01:07:00.002+08:00

jie's wedding yest was a blast! seriously a wedding requires so much work & it's really tiring to be up so early and be on your toes all e way till night..

im glad everything is over & e whole day turned out great! saying hellos to so many ppl is no small challenge really, my face was so tired from smiling and not to mention those poor feet of mine:( thank God for patience cos it was so easy to snap with e lack of sleep, people harrassing me & how much entertaining i had to do..

i cant wait for e photos to arrive:):)

it's official that she's Mrs Boh..feels kind of surreal though she hasnt been staying with us for a while. she's worth e lack of sleep, endless hassle & putting up with unreasonable people. thank God for cousins who helped so much..i cant imagine how my wedding gonna be, looking at how much trouble&hassle it is but it was really sweet in the end :):)

gonna hit e sack again despite sleeping half e day away, i meant it when i said i was reaaaaaallly tired..

thank God for you :)

2009-01-08T03:40:00.003+08:00

though this certain issue still bugs me, im glad i'm not alone in this and given new perspectives to look at..vivien & ian, thankyou for listening to my incoherent thoughts and just being here. vien, im so glad we're on e same page & thank God you came into my life..allow me to share stuffs & allow me to hear your stories. i cant wait to see how our next phase of life will be like and e challenges awaiting us! be good and concentrate on ur FYP for this couple of weeks..we'll have our java chip frap soon :)

relationships are never easy but that's e thrill of it isnt it? take a step back and enjoy e ride cos there's a huge lot more to life than regrets!

half e time i cant read you, cant figure what's going through your mind and what your words mean but having your presence here is enough. you brought out a part of me i never knew i was capable of possessing & showed me angles from your point that helped me learn..
distance is good, i see things clearer & my thoughts arent so jumbled up anymore..

school :(

2009-01-06T12:56:00.002+08:00

i know its a bad way to start e new term with negative thoughts but school is reaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyyy boring!

oh gosh, throughout e 3-hours-long-lecture yest i only caught a grand total of 5 minutes..his freaking accent is pissing me off & im really bored to tears..another boring afternoon with him later, wish me luck.

ok, i just needed to rant..

*may, im sorry i told you so last min abt my schedule..im obviously not in e swing of school yet, how abt thursday lovely? :)

happy two-zero-zero-nine :):)

2009-01-02T00:43:00.002+08:00

woohooooooooooo....its officially 2-0-0-9 :)

i had so much fun at vivien's hse on new year's eve, e yummlicious steamboat and e endless laughter from everyone..followed by movies and mahjong! :)

at e strike of midnight, guess wad was i doing? making pancakes!! hahaha..we had a sudden craving and vien's hse has all e wonders, we started making pancakes that were really delicious by everyone's standards..by e time we were all heading home i was so tired my eyelids couldnt open and my legs were threatening to turn wobbly..

needless to say i spent my new year's day sleeping :( i was really tired, woke up to say hello to daddy&mummy..ghost-walked a while in e hse den headed back to bed and woke up again to see my elder sis coming home for dinner :) how ridiculous can my new year's day get isnt it? anyhow it's counting down 8 days as of now to e big day of my sis..even i am excited now :):):)

this song has been in my head since i found it couple of days back, it's e finale song of twilight where edward&bella were dancing at prom.. lyrics dun make much sense at first glance, but use some imagination, look closer and you'll get it :) e tune just gets stuck in your head

flightless bird, american mouth - iron and wine

I was a quick, wet boy
Diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes
Wide on my plastic toys

Then when the cops closed the fair
I cut my long, baby hair
And stole me a dog-eared map
And called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping
Or lost you, American mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore, blunt tongue
Watching the warm, poison rats
Curl through the wide fence cracks

Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures
Thrown in the cold and clean
Blood of Christ mountain stream

Have a found you
Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding
Or lost you, American mouth
Big pill stuck going down

adorable angels :)

2008-12-31T01:17:00.006+08:00

its been so long since i saw e little ones at ham's hse, amazing how fast they grow & how adorable they still are since e last time :)

just looking at them makes me smile, how childlike and innocent and how happy they are at this age..where everyone around them cant wait to shower love, they just put a huge smile on my face every time :):)

it's officially e last day of 2008, mixed feelings abt this whole year but im so excited to usher in e new year and looking forward to it..i cant wait for e steamboat later on and all e fun we gonna have these few days till school starts on e 5th..i cant wait for e dinner on friday with e lovely girls :)

happy 2009! :)

you and i are gonna keep some distance and see how things goes from now on..if it's ever going to work den it must at least be started off on e right path...

and so he says...

2008-12-28T00:58:00.002+08:00

david's parting statement to me was 'be wise tmr at e gathering'

i hope i wasnt disappointing..but i feel i've a clearer picture of my life now, more certain to what i need and not need in life.

oh well, i dun wana brood over it anymore! if you think im talking in riddles and you dun get me, fret not cos you arent e only one so join e club! hahaha...

officially done with twilight, moving on to new moon :)

sweet treats :)

2008-12-24T13:58:00.004+08:00

little sweet treats that brightens up my day..sitting down on e wooden floor and chat away aimlessly seems like e nicest thing to do :) engrossed with our dessert till i forgot to snap pictures of our happy faces, even e 'ah beng' opposite our table cant distract us!

i adore christmas, love e warm fuzzy feeling that comes with it and e happy faces i see on everyone :) though e mad rush and horrifying number of people squeezed in shopping malls doing last minute shopping makes me uncomfortable, nothing can dampen my excitement for christmas..

i love love love love love love christmas.. thank God for all e lovely ones around me and for lovely surprises :)

merry christmas! :):)

wheeeeee:):):)

2008-12-21T00:02:00.005+08:00

my wireless is officially fixed cos i bought a new ~~reuter~~ *router & tiffy very cleverly got it all fixed by herself! :) my 'thief' in e hse is awesomeous!

anyway here are some photos from qing's 21st at st.james where we all went wild!

:(

2008-12-20T13:32:00.006+08:00

my wireless is down and i cant access to my laptop :( so here i am stuck with tiff's desktop and i better quit e whining lest this desktop decides to throw a fit :(

i cant imagine christmas is coming..how amazing & scary time flies, 2008 is coming to an end in a couple of weeks!! anyhow this year is full of ups & downs, i just pray i end this year happily..

all e KL+Genting trip photos are up on facebook, we took so many photos tiff had to sit down and scan through everything and only posted those that wont put a dent to our reputation! hahaha..so many horrendous looking ones that really cannot see e daylight..

i gonna go back to checking mails & FB cos so much had been going on when i havent been online for 3 days?!! hahaha..have a good weekend all of you and MERRY CHRISTMAS :):):)

im home :)

2008-12-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

finally back in sg safe and breathing e clean air..my breakouts are horrendous courtesy of the weather in malaysia.

i love e freedom air & i wana go on a holiday again but home is always e best and after every trip i've come to appreciate sg a lot more..still, i wana go to so many places and experience their culture and bask in their sun.

will upload e photos once i've e time to load them..enjoy e week ahead! :)

be back on e 9th! :)

2008-12-05T19:40:00.002+08:00

sometimes life just throw you all kinds of surprises and leave you dumb-founded..this coming week gonna be a turning point for both of us, im afraid to hope and afraid to know e outcome but at least things will head towards a direction instead of hanging nowhere.

so many scenarios playing out in my head and i've enough of it..im not going to let it bug me and spoil my entire trip! life is really too short to be hunged up with ambiguous matters :)

mr tan tian siang, pls have a great 21st celebration, sorry i cant make it but im sure it gonna be loads of fun anyhow! meet up for dinner when im back with e rest alright?

ham, hold e fort..i gonna be home sooner than you realised im gone.

i gonna go pack now and go breathe some malaysia air..have a great weekend! :)

the sweetest, kindest and prettiest :)

2008-12-02T01:10:00.003+08:00

you make me laugh with ur nonsense acts and you really listen with your heart and not shower me with words that are obligatory. 7 years of friendship and going stronger than ever, e random rash act of ours and how we could talk non-stop for hours. thankyou for all that you gave and done all these years, standing by me regardless of how i took you for granted. you've so much in you to offer to everyone around you so dun put yourself down and ure so beautiful on e inside and definitely on e outlook girl.. dont be humble this once and start taking due credit ok?

feel secure in yourself and lets take steps towards making ourselves better tgt. you untied e knots in my heart and you never fail to make me feel better abt myself.. love you gorgeous girl, i wont ever take you for granted and i treasure e time we spent tgt :)

tiff's 19th :)

2008-11-30T23:46:00.003+08:00

lunch with e family and heading to jed's hse for e cell grp bbq :) i know she had a great time cos it's not only her 19th but e end of her internship and e smile pasted on her face e whole day was priceless.

my pillar of strength, unyielding support and e one who brings me immerse joy :) as she turns 19 and grow up stronger and prettier makes me smile and my heart swells with pride. e sad aura that hung around her for e last 3 months finally gone and i've my smiling girl back..

i love you pretty sister :)

timbre night :)

2008-11-28T12:57:00.009+08:00

it started off with ham meeting me and we went shopping in e midst gotten ourselves a copy of e singapore map. thank God for ham's excellent map-reading skills we finally found our way to timbre at e substation after so much of walking not to mention the humid weather..

e food and music selction at timbre was good but e service was so bad it dampen our mood for a while. i swear they put something into our drinks cos all of us were in such high spirits it's unfathomable cos we didnt even drink anything..

we headed off to marina barrage when nic came and pick all of us and it was another round of crazy laughter and endless screaming..people around us must be damn pissed off and cursing at us non-stop cos we managed to turn e romantic ambience there into some kids' playgound :)

endless attempt at a group shot with our battery-dying cameras and finally we have a decent one. :)

tiff's birthday this weekend and im sure everything gonna be a whole load of fun! have a great weekend :)

lack of sleep :(

2008-11-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

i wana rip my throat out :(

i cant wait for tmr's dinner, gonna have so much fun with e girls..

ham say she wouldnt attend a bbq planned by me..if i had my way my bbq will have a theme - sausages! :) and no satays!

this whole entry is random and no aim whatsoever..im just enjoying every passing day :)

you make me smile and chase away the mood swings, inconsistent yet ever so true. you jumble up my thoughts and leave me confused..i gonna take all that you offer and make a huge effort to not ask for more

my church & my pastor :)

2008-11-24T01:42:00.004+08:00

the God i know
righteous and holy
the God i know
faithful and true
the God i know
a tower of refuge
hearts are healed, christ revealed

the God i know
light of the city
the God i know
strengthens e weak
the God i know
your heart beats in mine
as you are, so are we

when e song played for e first time during worship during an earlier service i cried buckets, its amazing how a song can touched you so much you just cant stem e flowing tears. asia conference has come to an end officially, starting with a blast and i bet e finale was as awesome as the start though i missed it.

e conference lasted for 5 days and every single day was packed with people overflowing and we had to use hall 7, 8 & 10 to sit the crowd..amazing how everyone queued for hours & e recorded attendance hit 25000 ppl at its peak.

different pastors, different beliefs & different ways of impacting the crowd and through this conference my eyes were exposed to e culture other churches adopt. i believe every church has a different DNA, a different mandate they wana preach forth to e crowd and e different ways a preacher uses to engage the audience..

im really proud of city harvest and proud of my pastor :) despite all e negative publicity we always hear and how e media puts us down, pastor kong holds on to his beliefs & stand by his faith. sometimes i get sick of explaining my church to unbelievers cos any form of disagreement with their negative values would come across as defending my church. it used to put me down a lot but now im looking at it from a different viewpoint..i'll explain every single doubt u throw my way and pray hard you'll come to know the God i love.

should you love e same God as i do, then i pray hard you come to respect my pastor and e mandate we have as a church. :)

i thank God for my pastor, ever so strong in his faith and ever so strong in his beliefs..standing up for the church and not afraid to express his doubts & disagreements so long it's not in line with the right beliefs. this doesnt even come close to idolising cos what i feel for pastor is utmost respect. im tremendously blessed through this conference!

the church he knows
righteous and holy
the church he knows
faithful and strong
the church he knows
a tower of refuge
hearts are healed, christ revealed

the church he knows
light of the city
the church he knows
strengthens e weak
the church he knows
is strong and might
as he is, so are we.

im looking forward to the new week :)

asia conference :)

2008-11-21T13:21:00.002+08:00

asia conference has been really good so far, 3 more days to go and i cant bear for it to end :(

anyhow, choir camp finally done -phew- thank God! i could never have gotten anything done without eugenia's and becca's help and e young girls ever so fun and laughing at every single thing..i cant wait to organise an overnight one with them! :)

ham, im sorry i cant make it tonight and there's no need to tag me in all e photos thankyouverymuch! and i dun wana be anywhere near 'minnie' so dun you girls dare try and be funny!

gotta head to expo now..have a great weekend! :)

its ur day :)

2008-11-19T00:06:00.004+08:00

honestly i never thought our friendship would ever come this far..from htm till now, going thru all e ups and downs, seeing e world in a much harsher way and being forced to grow up in e shortest time possible.

you brought out e best in me and being with you brightens up every single day i spent with you..and if i am a guy i gonna fight tooth and nails with mr. hon to ask for your hand in marriage! :) ure so many things i am not and im glad i met you in my life cos ure truly irreplaceable and this is solely for you
Tan Siew Jia Vanessa aka hammy hon :)

thankyou for so many things, e small and e bigs..for covering my ass every single time and being that rational ear for me when im so emotional. ure e bestest friend a girl can ever ask for and i hope everything will work out in awesome ways for you..trials to make you stronger and happy moments in life to make you go further.

love you dear friend..i really do! :) gonna see your pretty face real soon..happy 20th!

mr hon's 21st :)

2008-11-16T23:25:00.003+08:00

oh boy..e amount of alcohol that went through e night and how high everyone went was hilarious, qing you better be nice lest i show e whole world ur discriminating evidence :):)

anyhow, it's been a tiring day rushing for service and cg and staying away from e glaring sun that were threatening to maim my eyes & bring on a round of headache. too little sleep and too much alcohol is bad!

e coming week gonna be real busy, with e choir camp and asia conference coming up! im really looking forward to asia conference anyway, believe its gonna be really awesome :)

ham's bday dinner on tuesday, cant wait for that too!

shopping with ginli darling tmr..whee :)

two-fifteen am..

2008-11-14T00:28:00.001+08:00

your words throws me off-balance, what am i to think?

lets just leave it to time and God..

ure more than enough : )

2008-11-12T22:37:00.004+08:00

i dun need all e riches in e world, dun need snow to fall on my doorstep everyday and i dun need money to come falling from e sky..with them in my life i feel like im so blessed everyday and no matter wad shit life throws me i can take them down one by one.

they're more than enough :)

im weeping in joy, e surprising distinction that threw me off-balance and shot my nerves to hell i really started weeping, tears of absolute joy! all e hard work paid off, we havent lost ourselves and i know this's only e beginning of happiness cos all e shit will leave us for good. thankyou God for ur favour :)

im really really really happy..

desert song :)

2008-11-08T13:56:00.003+08:00

And I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life, In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

chancing upon e song in david's blog and tiffy telling me how she was so touched by this song just yest, this song really is in season for us. :)

though e week didnt start off well, it took a turn for e better coming to e end of it. e late night talk, impromptu decision to attend prayer meeting e following morning...talking to shan, debbie, vivien and followed by tiff really lifted my spirit up. even ian's words were so closely related to wad i was going thru despite being unaware of e circumstances and he helped making me smile..

i never thank God for my voice, i just took it for granted that i could sing and now i really wana treasure it and go on praising and singing for him forever.

this trial season will pass and i believe everything to come will be a lot better! :)

vtsj, hang on! all these bad feelings and aimlessness will pass and we will find e direction in life soon, ur special ability will come back to you and life gonna be less of a bitch in no time. you'll never be alone in this..whether ure filled with laughter and cracking us with jokes or nights where ure totally bitchy and moody, feeling so defeated, no matter what circumstances i love u all e same and trust me our lives gonna get better! :)

the glowing gorgeous bride

2008-11-04T23:17:00.002+08:00

at e risk of sounding obsessed i still must say it..

looking at her wedding photos, her glowing and happy face..her pretty smile and e love so evident on her face just take my breath away

i just cant keep my eyes off those photos and i really wish i would look so radient and glowing on my wedding day..e kind of love that do not have to be declared out loud but still so evident on e couple's face..

even e look exchanged is filled with love..

this's e only event that put a smile on my face e whole day..

i never hated exams so much :(

halloween and hello november :)

2008-11-02T21:15:00.002+08:00

it's really a different halloween this year..unexpected stuffs that happened and that night was pretty good :)

october hasnt been easy but it ended off on a happy note despite all the dramas that caught me unexpected and felt so helpless.. all e unexpected turns of events and all these surprises make me cherish life a little more than before.

it's gonna be a great mth cos exams are gonna finish on e 10th and very hopefully put an end to all the unhappiness. i cant wait for all e events to unfold and let us bask in e freedom and stress-free days for a while..

gonna hit e books, have a very fun week ahead

:)

mood swings :(

2008-10-31T02:12:00.002+08:00

its bad..periods are bad stuffs! and e thing that goes hand-in-hand with period are exams and with a combination like that ure guaranteed to be e lousiest company for others on earth :(

i dun like guessing e minds of weird people..and i dun understand why buyer behavior has so many different aspects involved..

oh man, i cant wait for 10th nov.

model with rifle :)

2008-10-30T01:33:00.002+08:00

unexpected appearance.

warped point of view.

straight no-nonsense way of speaking your mind.

trip down memory lane [2 eyes, 1 nose and a mouth]

laughing at my hand gestures.

walking down e path you missed.

:)

goodnight.

vtsj :)

2008-10-28T23:28:00.002+08:00

she always make me burst out in laughter like really literally burst out in laughter cos i never know when she gonna say something so hilarious i cant contain my laughter. even when e darkest moment hits she stays calm and cheer me up. i cant ask for a better partner/girlfriend. :)

even when i cant get e words out of my mouth she manages to fill in e blanks and help me feel better abt everything. life in uni hasnt been a bed of roses, in fact it's been one of e worst phase in life..but her existence somehow smoothes things out and make it bearable

i really cant ask for anything more in a friend, thanks ham..i heart you so much :)

e weekend..

2008-10-28T01:14:00.002+08:00

'innocence is not a virtue, virtue lies in your innocence being tested'
i never got more dumbstruck when i heard this..i cannot agree more

so much happened during e weekend, im overwhelmed. im not going to share it here, those who're close..updates when i see you :)

3 more papers, then no more stressed/sleepless/moody nights. i cant wait.

tired :(

2008-10-25T07:24:00.003+08:00

good morning..this feels like 'O' levels where i see e sun set in e day and wake up before e sunrise of e next studying for a paper. paper on a saturday morning is so cruel :(

it's gonna be a long weekend but im looking forward to monday cos my aunties are coming over and mummy gonna make popiah :) i still have got so much more to study after today and im praying that my motivation wouldnt fail me at this juncture..

gotta go bathe and get ready for e paper waiting for me in clementi..have a great weekend all of you!

lets flock tgt :)

2008-10-23T23:06:00.003+08:00

have i ever love flocking tgt this much? e word irritating is just about the most interesting word among us in a long while...hahaha. ham, ure e perfect chase-away-stress-remedy. :)

paper on sat morning and i've touched on zilch of the module..i really hope it looks as manageable as i hope else im officially feasting on shit. :( im so tired my eyes can barely open, e underlying stress is driving me crazy and i miss all e times studying isnt my top priority at all. e weather isnt helping much too, what's with e rainy and nice sleep-in atmosphere recently? :(

im heading to bed and waking up to a friday embarking on intense revision and piano lesson, i hope time will be on my side this time and go a little slower than usual.

my heart goes thump-thump-thump when it's you :)

Dr. Masaru Emoto

2008-10-19T22:53:00.003+08:00

check out this website, this research that Dr. Emoto did on distilled water forming crystals is very encouraging and amazing how advance the technology is and the impacts it has on us.

http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm

i hope you'll be as blessed as i was when Pastor shared this with us and it's not all about christianity cos Dr. Emoto is not a believer. take a peek at it and im sure your week will start out in all e right ways! :)

october loves :)

2008-10-17T00:50:00.004+08:00

obviously i stole all these from gin's blog. :) my october love, been quite some time since 4 of us met up. cant ask for more..

in e span of 10 minutes

2008-10-17T00:10:00.002+08:00

amazing how much could happen in 10 mins..

it's like a flashback to my life 6 years ago, so many familiar faces..

woah!

rascal flatts - what hurts e most

2008-10-15T00:35:00.017+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

e wonders of technology :)

2008-10-14T23:23:00.002+08:00

2008-10-14T23:20:00.002+08:00

hellllooo...

2008-10-13T16:02:00.002+08:00

e last week was busy. receiving the unexpected news, attending the wake and going down to lend him support at the wake. sending david off to taiwan for 3 weeks, going down to ntu surprising hubert at his hall for his 21st and staying over at jie's hse preparing dinner for them. the week has been nothing but eventful. :)

too much junk food at e stayover, thanks to viffy who made tt tempting fondue that was too hard to say no to. but e stayover was great! i really love lazing around all day and talking with no nagging thoughts of undone things to rush.

i need to really get down to studying cos i havent been productive at all these couple of days and i don't have e luxury of time..i've zilch motivation to study! :(

girls, when are we meeting to ~~gossip~~ study? im missing you girls already and ham we gonna continue from where we left off last night tgt with e input from qing yes pretty? :)

have a great week ahead! :)

turning point

2008-10-05T20:39:00.005+08:00

'brick walls are there for a reason. they give us a chance to show how badly we want something.'

the last lecture - Randy Pausch

http://thelastlecture.com/index.htm
i am tremendously blessed this weekend, david bought this book titled 'the last lecture' and i got e chance to read it..those who are close has probably heard me mention this book a couple of times. no matter how i rave abt it, nothing beats reading it for yourself and be truly encouraged by e content of it cos it doesnt only impact you in e little ways but it also spurs you on even when you feel ur life has hit rock bottom.

e sermon during service was really in season and i enjoyed every word pastor shared. :)

tears and heartache, goodbyes and hellos, beginning and e end. end of a really good chapter yet e future chapters bags a load of excitement waiting to be discovered..amazing to see how much i grew in these 18 mths, forging new bonds and seeking new directions in life. 5th october would never be e same again cos it's one of e days tt will always be etched in my heart.

*edit: deaths are always hard to handle and words holds no significance now..im keeping you in my prayers.

you make me mad!!

2008-10-04T00:15:00.003+08:00

i seriously dun like what ure doing and i hate it that you affect me so much!

i dun wana deal with you anymore..bye!

God of this City

2008-10-01T19:54:00.001+08:00

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these People
You're the Lord of this Nation
You are

You're the Light in the darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are

there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things have yet to be done in this City
For Greater things have yet to come
And greater things have yet to be done in this here

through high and low...

2008-09-30T14:38:00.002+08:00

september hasnt been e easiest mth at all, so many ups and downs. last week was a nightmare, e mad rush of projs with ham staying over and ensuring all aspects of e report are covered. qing driving us, to and fro school and e night at brekos and i tell you cab drivers in sg are crazy nuts they drive like it's their last day on earth.

projs are mostly done with e last submission on sat, from then on im officially on my study break for 3 weeks! i need to be motivated, i need to haul ass and start loving my notes and my textbooks. most importantly, i need to keep e motivation going cos it's no big surprise how fickle i am and within 3 days my passion to study would die. :( i need constant reminders!

anyhow, its gonna be another hang-out-at-airport-till-we-see-e-sunrise-day/night. :) i should probably get a VIP card at this rate we hang out there every other day,hahahahaha! BUT, i need to be discipline and hit e books first.

along e way i gave up finding excuses for you, im just tired of e never-ending lies and e way u take us for granted. silence arent signs of approval, it's just one more time we allow you to insult us with ur lies and just another attempt at hope for us which proves to be futile. i really detest what ure doing to us, im sorry im not good enough for you and im sorry you'll never be able to undo all of these until u make an effort to look at the problem and take a chance at mending it..

my joy :)

2008-09-28T17:18:00.003+08:00

reasons for my smile. have a great week ahead..:)

i hate and i love....

2008-09-20T15:24:00.002+08:00

i hate e nausea tt's hovering around for so many days, hate e giddiness tt surrounds my head threatening another fall if i dun concentrate on walking and i hate blowing my nose every 5 mins and seeing my nose peel and feels like i should really get another nose.

i love e satisfaction of having one project down though e process was so difficult i was so close to calling it quits.

i love her for not giving up, spurring me on when she was tt close to giving up as well and made me tear when reading her entry.
i love her for having a big heart, her unconditional love for me and hanging on despite all e shit and her horrid migraines.
i love her for staying up e night helping me with all e drawings when she hasnt slept for 30 hours without one word of complaint, smile at me and said its not tt big a deal.
i love her for hearing me whine all e time and yet never got sick but said e words tt surely would make me smile and assure me she'd be my strongest pillar forever.
i love you jesus, for clearing my thoughts and plant tt nagging thought in my mind reminding me i forgotten one vital element in my report and gave me time to put it in.
this week really left me feeling very very drained, i need a good rest and put all e bad feelings aside. i need ur assurance whether we're important to you, whether we mean as much to you as u to us cos e pain and hurt you inflicted cannot be forgotten. trust and honesty are not mutually exclusive..

clinging on to e faith..

2008-09-14T21:49:00.002+08:00

you know how sometimes when shit hits, it comes full-blown? you just get screwed over and over again and i think to myself maybe just maybe im a magnet for trouble..

a shuffle in the leader in cell group, scares e shit out of me really and it's not something everyone will understand cos it's hard to explain church stuffs. intensive talk with david and group last night till 6am and attending cell grp 6 hours later was a huge challenge, pretty damn crazy really but im seeing things in a new perspective..e tears shed and e hearts broken but it's for everyone's good in e long run.

I'LL HAVE FAITH! :)

i know ure hurting dear girl and yeah u think i dun understand e shit ure going thru..im not you as u very clearly pointed out but im not going to lie to you and appease you with nice words just to soothe ur broken heart. i dun like seeing you being taken advantage of tts why i want you to wake up from this daze and live on stronger..u may not see it from my point and im not hoping you to overnight but i need you to trust that it's not i dun care or dun understand you cos if tts what u think then i guess i was wrong in our friendship..

projects are draining me out completely and sometimes i just wana give it up and call it quits..it gets so tough and its getting a little hard to just breathe and sleep normally. at times it's really hard to hang on and words cant even explain how hard it is, but im just hanging on cos no one told me it's gonna be easy, just that e end result gonna be worth it.

im gonna take a chance at having hope and being optimistic cos i realised how if im stronger, people around me will be encouraged to do so. if david didnt point this out, i probably would never have known this and carry on being a selfish ass.

go on and throw me more shit..im gonna take them down one by one! :)

as of now..im launching my optimistic campaign, im gonna do whatever it takes to screw things back e way i love.

7-hours marathon..

2008-09-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

i think its amazing how we do it at times, 7 hours straight at figuring out e loopholes and ensuring all sections are covered.
im tired, really really really tired. i wish all these will come to an end soon cos im this close to losing it. im hanging on cos i love e smiles on your faces and i wish we'll always smile like this even when our paths are lined with so many obstacles..

stand up and wave ur hands as we say hello to september...

2008-09-06T14:42:00.002+08:00

hello steve jobs and betty, i've been reading and watching so much abt you guys that i cant help but exclaim how well i already know you. i did a study on you mr jobs and i must say i am very impressed with e way u handled ur business it was an eye-opener. if i could i'd have done a thesis on you and probably scored pretty damn well.

and betty dear dear you, ure one very lucky lady to have a chance of appearing on e same cast with those very good-looking man and yes you probably taught e entire world on how perception could be a deadly mistake.

both of you characters fascinates me and im having an overload of you guys in my mind now, not that im complaining you see it's just a little frustrating when you guys not only occupy my thoughts in e days ure doing so in my dreams at night too. this can get a little tricky cos e min i close my eyes i see you mr jobs and its kind of freaky and irritating when ure e cause of my restless nights.

as i bid farewell to e both of you, i ask of a favour that u keep ur appearances strictly out of my dreams! till we meet again. :)

im still pretty sane, really. u just caught a glimpse of my hectic week..thank god it's e weekend now!